Stop doing it ALL yourself!
Is it just me, or do we all fall into the habit of trying to do everything by ourselves. Whether it’s trying to solve that hard maths question at school, when honestly, we have no clue, but we refuse to ask for help. Or whether it’s trying to figure out why we’re hitting our backhand so s***, and going around in circles in our mind, refusing to just ask the coach for some advice.
We try to do so many things by ourselves. Why is that? Are we taught this from a young age?? Are we taught that we need to be independent at all costs? Recently, it’s something that I’ve thought a lot about, and there have been a few instances in the last month that have shown me the importance of accepting help from others.
Its funny, Sometimes we close ourselves off to help because we think we know better, and that our way of doing things is the best way. Whereas often, if we give people a chance and hear them out, we can find new solutions, better ways of doing things and alternative options which we never thought of before.
Why is it that we try to do everything for ourselves? Are we scared of feeling stupid for having to ask? Do we think that we are worthless if we don’t know the answer to a question? Why is it that we’d rather spend 30 minutes on apple maps trying to find that café with the insta famous avocado and toast, rather than ask a local and be pointed directly to it?
I think we’ve been conditioned to believe that being independent is the ultimate goal. That being self-sufficient is the most valuable characteristic. Being able to be financially independent as soon as possible, create that business by yourself online, and have that “do it all yourself’ mentality. Whereas in reality, the most successful people on the planet are the ones that are inter-dependent. They’re the ones that hire the team of experts to do the job better, or ask for the advice and opinions of others in order to find a more effective solution. Inter-dependence is the ultimate goal, not independence.
In his book, “The 4 Hour Workweek”, Tim Ferris talks about how he outsourced massive amounts of his daily work and automated his business to run itself so that he had time to travel the world and do the things that he loves. The reality is, if we want to be successful, but can’t accept help and have to micromanage every aspect of our business or life, then we’ll be working 14-hour days before me know it. We may have a large bank balance and a nice house to come home to at night, but we’ll have no time to spend with our family, kids and other things that we love. The dream of having money is about the freedom that it gives us. Where’s the freedom in 14-hour work days?
If we really want to be successful, we need to open our mind to advice, even if we think our way is the best way. We need to understand that not knowing something, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.
And the reality is, when we do open our eyes and ears to new alternatives and accept to help from others, we bond a lot more with people too. No longer are we the person that goes about our business in a silent and lonely way. We become social, more connected to the people around us, and often get a helping hand in whatever it is that we are trying to achieve.
Our challenge is to start implementing this advice today. Let’s not just sit and watch this video without taking-action. It doesn’t have to be big things. Start small. Next time we’re cooking dinner, ask for some help chopping the vegetables. Or when we’re trying to get that worldie pic with the missus, ask a stranger instead of faffing around trying to balance our phone on a wall with a self-timer.
So, if there’s one message to take from this video, it’s this. Don’t feel like it’s a sign of weakness or stupidity to get help from others. Inter-dependence is the ultimate goal, not independence.
Thanks for watching and reading.
