TSSI #20 - Hard is good
Read Time: 2.5 minutes
I was on a trip a few months ago in Jamaica when I sat down to grab a beer with a tennis parent.
We had a great discussion about tennis, and the mindset needed to achieve great things in the sport.
The conversation then progressed onto the topic of values...
One of the major values that the dad said that he preaches in his family is:
Hard is good.
His message was this:
The things that come easy to us aren't worthwhile. It's the hard things in life that bring us the most joy & reward.
Whether it's putting in one extra set at the gym until exhaustion.
Raising your kids to be polite & hard working people.
Or, making the courageous decision to change careers.
It's the difficult things that ultimately bring us the most joy & reward in life.
The problem is that today, everything is geared towards pleasure.
Social media, doordash, Netflix...
Everything.
I look back on all my most proud and joyful moments so far, and they all stemmed from overcoming something tough.
Pushing past my comfort zone.
Making a courageous decision.
Facing adversity & getting back up, again and again.
Because it's doing hard things that leads to high-performance on a sustainable basis.
My sister calls this "Type 2 Happiness".
It's the happiness you gain from doing something tough.
She's completed multiple cross country bike rides recently.
She cycled across Mexico last year. This year she cycled from the tip of Scotland to mid-wales all alone.
There were many days that were so challenging that the tears started flowing.
But the joy & reward that she felt when accomplishing these hard days was long-lasting.
On the other hand, "Type 1 Happiness" is the pleasure we get from doing easy things.
Having a couple beers with friends. Social media. Watching a Netflix series.
This stuff makes us very happy in the short-term. However, the feeling is fleeting as soon as we finish the activity.
And actually, too much of this cheap type 1 happiness makes it hard to pursue "Type 2 Happiness".
The Link between Doing Hard Things & High-Performance
Taking on challenging tasks and pushing your limits can lead to improved performance and personal growth in several ways:
1. Skill Development:
I always tell my tennis students (when they're making a technical change). "If it feels uncomfortable and strange, then you're doing it right." If you always feel comfortable, then you're probably doing the same old thing.
Skill development requires feeling uncomfortable at times. In fact, Angela Duckworth, in her book "Grit" suggests that this type of purposeful practice is often the least enjoyable.
2. Resilience & Grit:
Individuals who are willing to confront difficult tasks are often better equipped to handle adversity.
We all know that high-performance, in whatever domain, requires huge amount of grit. Your ability to bounce back after tough moments is what makes the best stand out.
3. Courage
One of the reasons that there's a breakout of high-performers taking ice baths is not just for the physiological benefits.
Doing hard things & overcoming the fear to get into freezing cold water has mental benefits too.
I like to think of courage as a muscle. The more you work it, the stronger it gets.
So overcoming the fear, and taking a cold plunge, builds our courage muscle.
Choosing to do the one extra set, or having the tough conversation with your coach builds courage.
And courage, is no doubt linked to high-performance. The best athletes and entrepreneurs in the world are the most courageous.
Wrapping up
Doing hard things leads to a more joyful and rewarding life, particularly in the long-term.
Short-term pleasure from social media, netflix, or food is pleasurable, but often leads to guilt & a lack of long-term joy.
'Hard is good' because it leads to high-performance by increasing resilience, skill development & courage.
